Will Rogers Quotes
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
-- Will Rogers
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, ad that is education.
-- Will Rogers
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
-- Will Rogers
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
-- Will Rogers
If you don't make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
-- Will Rogers
If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
-- Will Rogers
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
-- Will Rogers
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
-- Will Rogers
I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.
-- Will Rogers
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
-- Will Rogers
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
-- Will Rogers
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.
-- Will Rogers
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
-- Will Rogers
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate. What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
-- Will Rogers
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
-- Will Rogers
I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
-- Will Rogers
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
-- Will Rogers
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
-- Will Rogers
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
-- Will Rogers
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
-- Will Rogers
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers
Always drink upstream from the herd.
-- Will Rogers
Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat.
-- Will Rogers
Don't gamble. Take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it 'til it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
-- Will Rogers
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
-- Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
-- Will Rogers
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
-- Will Rogers
Politics is applesauce.
-- Will Rogers
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
-- Will Rogers
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
-- Will Rogers
We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to just know.
-- Will Rogers
There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman... neither works.
-- Will Rogers
I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is - they like to run their own business. I know men that would make my wife a better husband than I am but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.
-- Will Rogers
I'm not a real movie star. I'’ve still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago.
-- Will Rogers
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
-- Will Rogers
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
-- Will Rogers
Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.
-- Will Rogers
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay as long as truth.
-- Will Rogers
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the Presidnent?"
-- Will Rogers
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
-- Will Rogers
Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.
-- Will Rogers
You can't say that civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers
Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
-- Will Rogers
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
-- Will Rogers
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
-- Will Rogers
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
-- Will Rogers
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
-- Will Rogers
There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and family. But he can't make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.
-- Will Rogers
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
-- Will Rogers
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers
There are 3 kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
-- Will Rogers
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
-- Will Rogers
Communism is like prohibition - it's a good idea but it won't work.
-- Will Rogers
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-- Will Rogers
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
-- Will Rogers
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
-- Will Rogers
If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.
-- Will Rogers
Spinnin' a rope is fun if your neck ain't in it.
-- Will Rogers
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.
-- Will Rogers
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
-- Will Rogers
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
-- Will Rogers
